rOme by rome

rOme by rome♥

my thoughts, my fragile eternity...

will i ever find my place in this world? xoxo

♥ Romemacedonia Janggau Cyril
♥ narcissism+sarcasm in nature
♥ fashion is my passion
♥ evokes vanity+immaturity
♥ love cherries
♥ love vintage & haute-couture
♥ craves 4 his own DSLR!
♥ broken-hearted & tryin' 2 move on
♥ complicated & a difficult friend
♥ my past, my regrets, my remorse
♥ tryin' 2 make it in medic, longin' 2 b a designer
♥ not a believer of fairy tales & happy endings..
♥ gave up on love
♥ loves his friends but sucks at showin' it
♥ yet, my friends r my life..
- yours truly, rome

talk ur hearts out♥

*mouth shut*

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 3/17/2009 11:21:00 PM

*mouth shut*

i've kept my mouth shut from the start,

i guess i left you in the dark,

you thought you knew me but u DON'T.

you told me you love me but you WON'T,

when you found out who I am.

i kept my mouth shut for too long,

all this time you got me wrong,

now you and I are in this too far,

and you have chosen to break my heart apart,

tear everything we had apart into pieces of junk.

now,

won't keep my mouth shut anymore.

had my shares of closing doors.

and now i know,

i am not afraid any longer,

it's too late for regrets.

i have kept it all inside of me all this time,

thought i could make us work,

if i just tried,

and tried,

and tried harder,

and tried even harder.

it's a drainer.

but, i have to admit it now,

i've been living a life of lies.

this moment,

i know it was wrong,

i wish we never have started this,

never have gone this far.

i should have known better,

i should have told you,

that 'us' will not last.

i'm feeling lost and derailed,

after what had happened.

the reasons are gone,

for why i was holding onto you.

i tried so DAMN,FUCKIN' hard to be the one,

it was all for nothing to you.

i ended up hating the person i've become.

my own reflection-i detest.

my own image-i repulse.

my own self-i KILLED.

i can never measure up,

to anyone in your eyes.

i am NOT perfect,

that i admit and fully aware of.

i am a mess of my own.

you are my reason,

and you took that away,

i'm left with nothing.

i was losing myself to you,

but now i see,

i can't pretend anymore,

is this the end for you and me???

cause' the kind of friend you want,

is tearing us apart,

cause' they are everything i'm not,

isn't that true???

if it's too much to ask,

please forgive me.

i can't stand this anymore.

please end this game.

that i beg from you,

and please give me the reasons,

for you have been mine.

there was a time,

when i thought it would be different for us,

evrything was different this time.

i guess it was all an illusion,

was blinded by the temporal joy and happiness.

for once in my life,

i felt genuinely happy when i was with you,

felt i was at place,

felt like i've found the missing pieces in me,

felt much as someone worth more than i used to.

you robbed me from all that.

you ripped my heart.

you broke my life chamber.

you emptied my void.

you gave me hatred.

you make me prone to anger.

you ruined me.

you murdered me,my soul.

i was left to burn with my heart wide open.

nothing can ever mend that back.

i still love you my dear friend.

always will.

once close friends,you'll be in my heart for a lifetime.

i may not be in yours,

that you have made so clear to me.

i will never recover from this.

for all you have given me and taken away from me.

you are my scar.

if fate has it,

and we'll never cross path after this,

i hope you'll finally realise.

and it's too late by then.

cause' i've lost you, and you've lost me.

that's the guilt you'll have to live with,

for the rest of your remaining life.

as well as i am

till then,

from a heavily broken-hearted

-dead-

// ♥♥♥ with love, rOme by rome ♥♥♥

Does the pain weigh out the pride??

Did someone break your heart inside??